I Want…

…this:

…and this:

Oh, and these too:

Hurray for consumerism!

The blog has spoken (Part 2)

Even after some choice words from my girlfriend about my last Survivor post, I will still continue to post about the show.  Let’s see, where did we leave off…

Hottest Male Castaway

If my girlfriend would have just waited around for the second post, she would have seen that I do not discriminate when it comes to singling out good looking players.  I am comfortable enough with my sexuality to do so.  Not a big crop of traditionally hunky guys this season, but Brendan really pours on the boyish charm.  He’s the kind of guy you wouldn’t be afraid to take home to mom.  

Castaway Who Could Win Under the Radar

Emotional?  Yes.  A little crazy?  You betcha.  A chance at a million dollars?  Quite possibly.  Sandy (left) was outed by her tribe in the first episode, but she could prove to go all the way.  She has taken Jalapao by surprise, competing in challenges with the fervor of someone half her age.  Also, take note of how the show has been edited thus far.  When Sandy first arrived at her camp via helicopter, she stood at the flag and made a solemn vow that she would make it all the way.  The show has a history of creating narratives for castaways, sometimes foreshadowing events to come.  

Castaway That Will Win

As JT says, he’s not some dumb hillbilly.  Thus far, he’s playing the roles of leader, provider, and all around trusting guy for Jalapao.  I pick JT as the winner because he knows how to work well with the tribe, but could use that to manipulate the other castaways.  He’s playing the “aw shucks country boy” strategy and it’s working.  

The Reason Why…

I am going to say right now that I don’t think this upcoming cross tribe alliance is going to work.  The other castaways can smell what’s cooking.  There are still enough others to pick the four off (Brendan, Taj, Sierra, Stephen).  I think the tribes know what’s up when Taj and Brendan keep going to Exile Island together (Get your mind out of the gutter).  They might make it to merge, but the numbers game will catch up with them.  At the same time, Brendan has the immunity idol.  Still unsure how he will use this, if at all.

Castaways That Will Make It To The Merge

From Timbura: Brendan, Erinn, Tyson

From Jalapao: JT, Joe, Sandy, Stephen, Sydney, Spencer

Dear Lost,

Yesterday, during my screenwriting class, I got a bloody nose.  This means one of two things: 1) The sudden shift in temperatures is to blame.  2) The sudden shift in time is to blame.

Which brings me to my next discussion point: Lost.  I think I will write this in the form of a letter.  My girlfriend does this on her blog every once and a while, so I guess I can be cool like her and do it too.  According to my friend Kyle, this kind soap box speech is a typical Brett thing to do.    

Dear Lost,

I know we really haven’t been the best of friends.  We’ve been more like acquaintances over the last year or so.  Truth be told, I already have a TV best friend (24), but I always have room for new buddies.  My real friends kept telling me I had to meet you, that you were really cool and fun to hang out with.  You were said to be complex, mysterious, but also fun and witty.  And after that first episode, I had a feeling there would never be a dull moment with you.

For being just casual friends, we’ve spent a lot of time together.  I remember curling up on the couch with a pizza or a beer and spending close to four hours with you sometimes.  You weren’t the perfect friend by any means, but there was just something about you that I couldn’t shake.  Maybe it was your eerie plot threads or the story bubbling under the surface that I was just waiting to see in full view.  I felt like I was really getting to know you.  You revealed a new layer of yourself every week.  I didn’t have unrealistic expectations about our relationship by any means.  I understand that you are a TV show and by the very nature of your existence, you have to be a little dumb at times.

I feel like I have been understanding of your moody ways.  When you tried to hide your secret with the “smoke monster,” I did not pry.  When you never revealed the meaning behind the hieroglyphics on the 108 minute clock, I let it slide.  When you threw in characters, plots and stories that seemed fairly useless (Do I need to bring up Nikki and Paulo?), I stuck by your side.  Even when you started focusing on the future rather than the past, I was still okay with that.

Now, I don’t feel like I even know you.  YOU don’t even know what you want anymore.  You say that the end is coming and that all my questions will be answered soon.  You say I just need to give you more time and I will finally see the truth.  

Lost, I am tired of your games.  You have too much baggage that I can’t deal with anymore.  Moving the island, going back to island, Ben is a good guy, Ben is a bad guy, Locke is alive, Locke is dead, the plane crashes again: you expect too much from me.  I am a patient person.  But I don’t know what it is we’re working towards anymore.  So what if they need to go back?  I’m still not sure what that is going to solve.  

It’s not that I haven’t been paying attention to you.  I have been by your side even during the tough times.  My girlfriend and others say that I have obsessed over you.  Some even use the word addicted.  I am through with this.  I can no longer be friends with you.  Maybe someday, we can meet and catch up with happenings in your world.  But you are not right for me at this point.  If this isn’t clear to you, we’re breaking up.

I wish you all the best in your future endeavors.  May all your questions be answered and may your followers finally be at peace.

Sincerely,

Brett

 

The blog has spoken (Part 1)

I swore I wouldn’t use my blog for this kind of evil force, but for some reason I just can’t help myself.  Bear with me here.  I am going to talk about… Survivor.  Yes, I have been bitten by the bug once again, watching the 18th season of the show: Survivor Tocantins.  And actually, it’s still pretty good after all these years.

The unfortunate byproduct of watching Survivor is that you want to talk and speculate about it.  The other unfortunate thing is that I have no one to do it with.  That’s where you, my microscopic blog community, comes in.  Since the season is still in its infancy stages, I think it’s fair to do a rundown of predictions and observations of the cast so far.  Think of this as like a Survivor awards ceremony.  If you hate the show, tough.  Perhaps my post will inspire you to get interested in the show and we can talk about it.  Here’s to wishful thinking:

Hottest Female Castaway

Do you prefer blonde or brunette?  I could not decide, thus a tie is in order.  Erinn (left) comes off as a little annoying and Sydney (right)  is a bit of an air head.  But Erinn is a little bitchy and Sydney is a little flirtatious, two qualities I just can’t seem to get enough of (Note: Right now my girlfriend is foaming at the mouth and is contacting CBS to find the addresses and phone numbers of these women).  Neither of them have really proved their worth as a viable competitor as of yet, but have proved to be easy on the eyes.  However, these two could actually play a game turning role.  More on that later.

Castaway I Hated to See Go

Oh Jerry, we barely knew you.  Jerry (right) had all of the qualifications to be a top notch castaway.  U.S. Army Sergeant, nice guy, and always had some dry, witty remark to make.  It seemed his quiet, yet easy going personality could have taken him to the top.  But after bean related stomach cramps (we’ve all been there, Jerry) and poor challenge performance, his tribe nixed the weakest link.  We’ll miss you Jerry.  Mama said there’d be days like this.

Castaway That Needs to Go

The poison apple will spoil the whole bunch and Coach (left) is that bad apple.  He refuses to see that HE is the reason Timbura is falling apart.  His iron fist style of playing the game will get him in trouble.  Timbura might keep him around because he could be picked off easily after the merge.  Also, he could even be taken to the final two, making the other a shoe-in for the million.  But if anyone in Timbura wants a chance to make it to the merge, they’ll have to get rid of Coach.  Though he does pretty well in challenges, he is bringing down morale.  He might be kind of a hometown boy, but I think he needs to go.

I believe that’s enough drooling over Survivor for now.  When I feel like it, I’ll post part two.

Kicking the Bucket List

So my girlfriend has notified me that I’m turning into “that kind of blogger.”  You know, the person that starts a blog with the best intentions, but later neglects it like a new puppy after Christmas.  So while my girlfriend’s blog has apparently become the greatest thing since sliced bread, gaining multiple hits from total strangers every day, mine sits here like a child left at the grocery store for a week.  

I take her comments as an opportunity for a challenge.  Not only will I post more often, but I will gain MORE HITS than her blog and use my power to take over the world!  Okay, who I am I kidding?  I can promise more posts, but my girlfriend’s blog will always reign supreme, because as I said before, she is way smarter than me.  Or at least requires more compliments.

One method of blogging that I have seen working for others is to arrange information into lists.  Because I am an INFJ, I obsessively and compulsively crave these methods.  So look forward to seeing many “top 5″ type lists.  Know that my next “top 5″ list could be something lame like “top five songs I’d love to see as Rock Band downloads” or “top five favorite ways to kill a zombie.”  I’m not going for enlightenment here. 

As a person ready to graduate college, I find myself taking inventory of my short life thus far (unfortunately also an INFJ personality trait).  It is typical for people in this stage to think that they haven’t done anything “cool”.  One might think, “why haven’t I backpacked through Europe with German soccer team?”  Or, “why haven’t I traveled to Africa to teach local children and provide them with an abundance of earthy and hip Tom’s shoes?”  But I stop and think about how there are already many really cool things I’ve packed into 22 years.  So I now give you my “top five awesome things I’ve already crossed off my things to do before I die list.”  I may not have acquired an internship as a freelance reporter in exotic areas of the Middle East, but I’ve done some cool things.

“Top 5 Awesome Things I’ve Already Crossed Off My Things To Do Before I Die List” (In no particular order).

1. Ride the Cyclone at Coney Island

As a self proclaimed roller coaster enthusiast, the Coney Island Cyclone is one of the seven wonders of the roller coaster world.  But the Cyclone provides a totally different type of coaster experience that you don’t get at any normal theme park, thus the reason why it was on my list.  It’s one of the oldest roller coasters still in existence, so it’s nice and creaky.  But to also know that millions of people, even dating back to the early 1900s, have ridden this ride, I feel a kind of connection to a piece of history.  The location, the first drop, the lack of safety protocol, definitely a red letter day.

2. See all my favorite bands live in concert 

Okay, so I know I’ll never have a chance to see Pink Floyd in concert, but for the most part, I have seen all of my favorite bands perform live.  Let’s do inventory.  Weezer?  Check.  Green Day?  Check.  Foo Fighters? Check.  Rush?  Triple Check.  I’ve also seen Kiss, Aerosmith, Weird Al, and many more in between.  I love seeing live music and I’m usually prepared to throw down some serious dough to partake in these memorable life experiences.

3. Eat a Philly cheese steak in Philadelphia

Last December in the chilly Philly morning, my friend John and I stopped at Pat’s King of Steaks during our road trip of the east coast.  During that morning, I was put into a cheese steak trance after taking one bite of what could be the best thing to have ever graced my palate.  At Pat’s, they are kind of “Soup Nazi” about ordering.  So when I ordered with no problems whatsoever, I felt like I pro.  Wit cheese?  You betcha.

4. Climb a mountain

Though I’ve hiked many mountains on my family’s million different trips to Colorado, I consider climbing Longs Peak quite an accomplishment.  Okay, so we didn’t hike to the summit, but on two occasions, I’ve gotten to the “Keyhole.”  This picture was taken just before reaching that point.  As you can see, the clouds had started to roll in, which means we needed to get below tree line.  If you don’t, you could end up crispier than a bucket of KFC.

5. Meet the girl of my dreams

Sometimes in all the madness that is trying to figure out what I’m going to do with my life, I forget that I have already found my somebody.  Yes, we might not have met in the most romantic setting.  And yes, as I’m writing this she is playfully harassing me like she normally does by jabbing her foot into my crotch after I complained about her foot resting on my knee.  We know we are made for each other when on a Friday night, when any normal college student would be out on the town, we are sitting in bed reading and eating girl scout cookies.  Yes, this is perfection.

Do you know what my diastolic is?

Well neither do I.  In fact, I’m still unclear on what exactly your diastolic is.  I’m sure it can’t be good.  But nevertheless, this apparent “cold” has morphed into a full fledged disease.  After many days of my girlfriend encouraging me to see a doctor, I finally danced with the devil in the pale moonlight and went to Taylor Health.  The first step in overcoming a sickness is admitting you have one.  

After a checkup performed by who I can only assume would be Amanda’s dad if he was a doctor, I found out I have one of two things: 1) The flu.  2) A slight case of pneumonia.  Needless to say, I did not go to work yesterday or today.  Funny as this sounds, I don’t like that.  I rather continue on with my life and take care of my responsibilities as they come, despite any kind of illness.  However, this notion is probably what got me to the place where I am now.  Rather than swallow my pride, I forged ahead and refused to admit that I was really sick.  And that children is our lesson for today.

The doc put me on some medicine that seems to be doing the trick.  Antibiotics during the day and knock you out cough syrup at night.  I slept REALLY well and had some interesting dreams to go along with it.  I can’t really remember too many specific parts except for the sequence right before I woke up.  

I won’t go into MUCH detail, but I was watching an unplugged Metallica concert  in a giant arena, except that they were playing electric instruments.  They had a bunch of guest musicians including Henry Rollins and a very fat clown.  One of the set pieces was a rotating light fixture that was also a South Park themed amusement park ride.  Later on in the set, Kirk Hammett started talking about things he hated.  He then proclaimed to the crowd, “But there’s one thing we hate above anything else.”  A giant Kansas City Chiefs flag unfurled right above the stage and the whole crowd started booing.  Then, I woke up.  I stumbled out of bed scratching my head as to what that was all about as well as an overwhelming desire to listen to “Battery.”

Nurse Amanda has done splendidly and signed on for another shift.  She skipped class to take me to the doctor, bought me lunch, and encourages me to do fun things like drink fluids, sleep, and spit out my mucus when I cough.  There’s a good and bad side to being sick.  On one hand, I get to eat pizza, watch “Back to the Future,” and drink as much Gatorade as I want.  On the other hand, I don’t have energy to really do anything.  I want to hang out with friends, but I’m afraid I will get them sick.  It’s almost hard to carry on a conversation with me because I am coughing every fifteen seconds.  I told my boss I’d make it to a work meeting yesterday, but upon hearing that I had the flu, she didn’t want me around the station (I don’t blame her).  However, I feel like the guy in a zombie movie who everyone knows is infected, but they don’t want to preemptively kill, and everyone stays away from because they are afraid he’ll infect them.  Maybe that’s making a bold statement.  If I get Amanda sick, well, I’m sorry honey.

Plan for today, take a shower, maybe watch “Back to the Future 2,” and hopefully have enough wherewithal to run a few errands with Amanda.  Maybe I’ll use Bueller’s advice: “Be a man.  Take some Pepto-Bismol…”

Q: Has anyone ever told you that you look just like Cameron from “Ferris Bueller’s Day Off?”

A: Yes.

PS: Heard a demo from the new Green Day album.  Most of the links to it are dead, however, I was able to scrape up a listen.  I will be able to listen to it over and over until the album comes out.  That is unless the RIAA or WB doesn’t confiscate my computer and throw me in jail first.  Trust me, the song is REALLY good.

Calling Dr. Love

So I wanted to start off this post with a picture of the nurse from “Ferris Bueller’s Day Off,” who delivers the famous singing telegram.  However, upon searching for images of said person, I instead got many X-rated pictures of well endowed women “performing checkups” in nurses uniforms.

Do not misinterpret the title of this post.  My love life is in no need of medical assistance.  I have been fighting off a cold for the past number of days, going to work and broadcasting my congested, raspy voice over the airwaves for all to hear.  On Sunday, my wonderful girlfriend, Nurse Amanda, stopped by the station to give me drugs and juice.  The medicine has been working great in clearing up my sinuses and whatnot.  However, I am left with a annoying little tickle in the back of my throat that sends me into mad, rampant coughing spells.  I know the cure is to not cough, but that tickle is a powerful force.

So when I’d love to be curled up on the couch, watching a new episode of “24″ as my girlfriend irons my work pants in her new apron, I am hacking and wheezing while I make some finishing touches on my resume for a job fair tomorrow while she is still at work.  I tried taking a nap this afternoon, but the busy traffic on National and the constant blaring of sirens from every Springfield emergency vehicle on the payroll kept me up.  

I just need a little TLC, J.B. (Jack Bauer), and A.P. for a quick recovering. Probably also my four hundredth cough drop for the day.